Inhuman Protection


Shop Inhuman Impact Shorts
  • Rose C.

    "I have zero bruises and no tailbone injuries despite multiple falls. 100% highly recommend these."

  • Lindsay M.

    "I feel much more comfortable riding with these because I know it will pad areas I've hurt in the past."

  • James H.

    "Once I started riding you don't even notice the shorts at all. 10/10 would recommend to someone."

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Slim and Lightweight Design:

We understand the importance of mobility and freedom of movement. Inhuman Impact Shorts are designed to be slim and lightweight, allowing you to perform at your best without feeling weighed down.

Secure Fit and Flexibility:

With a comfortable waistband and stretchable materials, Inhuman Impact Shorts provide a secure and flexible fit that conforms to your body shape, allowing you to move naturally without any restrictions.

Enhance Your Confidence:

We believe that feeling confident is essential when it comes to any physical activity. That's why Inhuman Impact Shorts are designed to boost your confidence along with providing top-notch safety.

There when you need us!

And not when you don't! Our signature pair of crash pads are made to be forgotten.

Have the confidence to hit tricks while still being able to bend over. Struggle less when you have pads that work with you, not against you.

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100% refund if you still can't reach your toes.

Confidence you can wear

Say goodbye to painful mishaps before they even happen. No more endless hours perched on an inflatable donut.

These slim wonders are so comfortable, you'll forget you're even wearing them. It's like a stealthy superhero costume for your backside!

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About Us

My mom and I are from the Midwest (where there's more ice than snow) and because we're both just awful at snowboarding, have injured ourselves way too many times. We started wearing hockey pads to protect our rumps, but trying to bend over or cram them in your snow pants is a pain and they either wore down after a couple of days or just didn't protect the right spots.

After about a dozen pairs were thrown off the ski lift, we wanted to come up with something that was affordable, comfortable, and actually protected your rear for beginners and those, like us, that just aren't any good.

We strive to deliver excellence at every turn and hope you enjoy our butt pads as much as we do!

Stay Safe and Shred On!